basketball

WE ASKED THE NBA AI CHATBOT SOME QUESTIONS | 2026-01-09

Believe it or not, we too like to have some little fun around here. We’re not just doom and gloom fueled by sad Ryan Adams reviews all the time. So recently we spotted a new sus AI feature in the official NBA app, one that has hitherto been kept surprisingly quiet. At the time of this writing, the ‘Ask NBA (Beta)’ module can be located in the ‘Around the League’ section under the ‘Discover’ tab as part of the native iOS interface. Currently, it’s being described as a “chatbot application” by the NBA’s fine print lodged at the bottom of the start screen:

Critically, there is no explicit mention of artificial intelligence anywhere on the product’s real estate. Nonetheless, the initial chat-like layout, as well as the ‘questions to get started’ prompts, look a lot like your everyday large language model navigation interface. While one could assume those pictured are relatively low-stake Q&A items hardcoded as ‘if-then’ statements baked into the source of this chatbot, they do set this whole experience up as a quasi-‘ask me anything’ deal. At any rate, if it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck to us. Yet, it does kind of baffle us how little information or fanfare there is out there about this, and how surprisingly low-key this has been kept by the league so far. Needless to say, we gave this thing a go.

It didn’t start off… great. Below is the chatbot tripping over a somewhat banal data retrieval question about what team had been doing best in games against opponents outside of their league conference, just a few days ago. Alas, the NBA chatbot returned a plain answer listing the two teams at the top of the Easter and Western conferences at the time, citing their overall winning record instead of the opposite-conference one. (For the record, we did ask Google’s Gemini AI the same question—you know, the cannibalizing top search result that is swallowing the SEO market whole—and it did fall short of reporting such a trivial data point too…).

In order to get over the jilted disappointment of our first query, we decided to get cute with some Sixth Man of the Year predictions about halfway through the season. Thankfully, our AI bot friend provided us with sounder insights, bundling some of the well-known usual suspects, Miami’s Jaime Jaquez Jr, Minnesota’s Naz Reid, and Atlanta’s Nickeil Alexander-Walker into its top 5 prediction. We also didn’t mind the neat written summary at the end, partly justifying the table analysis—the holistic approach addressing both media and betting markets feels like a faithful depiction of current day NBA zeitgeist chatter. However, its inability to report a precise points-per-game number for Orlando’s Anthony Black (on top of a completely absent field goal percentage…), continued to leave us perplexed.

We then decided we wanted to test the NBA chatbot’s reasoning oomph by posing a more nuanced—if fascinating—question revolving around potentially unsung ‘diamonds in the rough’ players. We asked for its analysis over what players have been boasting above-average efficiency impact ratings but low playing time. In other words, we were hoping to alley oop NBA head coaches who read this site with allegedly untapped potential on their bench. To drive its insights this time, the chatbot opted for the NBA’s Player Impact Estimate (PIE), a league metric purported to show a player’s percentage contribution to all game boxscore events in totality (points, rebounds, assists, etc.), calculated using a simple and straightforward custom formula:

PIE = (PTS + FGM + FTM – FGA – FTA + Deff.REB + Off.REB/2 + AST + STL + BLK/2 – PF – TO) / (Game.PTS + Game.FGM + Game.FTM – Game.FGA – Game.FTA + Game.Deff.REB + Game.Off.REB/2 + Game.AST + Game.STL + Game.BLK/2 – Game.PF – Game.TO)

This one definitely got intriguing. According to our friend the bot, recently waived San Antonio forward Riley Minix would have counted as an incredible secret ace up Mitch Johnson’s sleeve, had they kept him on the team. With a stunning 25.7 PIE in just three games played this season, the Vero Beach, Florida-native left an impact like no other in the two minutes and change he played on average in each of the contests. For comparison, league heavyweights SGA, Wembanyama, Antetokounmpo, and Jokić’s PIEs all currently fare between 21-23. Similarly, the number two secret weapon in the league appeared to be former Detroit Pistons shooting guard Colby Jones, until you realize he got waived by the franchise back in November last year, after just one league appearance.

Matter of fact, of the ten players listed by the chatbot as part of this query, only Indiana Pacers veteran TJ McConnell has played more than ten games this season (24). Aside from him, Marcus Sasser (Pistons) and Pete Nance (Milwaukee Bucks) are the only other players that have reportedly been featured in more than just a handful games hitherto. Frankly, we could have used a tad more discernment by our NBA stats partner, but hey it’s not like that bar was set awfully high from that first prompt… If anything, this answer confirmed TJ McConnell to be Indiana’s own version of a bench mob leader Tasmanian devil.

This brings us to our pièce de résistance. Just in case the coaching staff hadn’t thought about it, we took it upon ourselves to try to boost the Brooklyn Nets’ mid-season performance review. Just because. Naturally, we began by daring the NBA AI to predict the 2025-2026 regular season record for the New York franchise, to which it annoyingly clarified it’s only set up to “answer questions about NBA games, players, teams, stats, rules, schedules, league history, and on-court action”. Too bad none of these attributes contribute toward a team’s regular season record.

Next, we turned to a rose-colored glass half full, and in spite of the Nets’ 11-23 losing record as we’re typing this (matching a .324 win percentage) we wondered if there were any statistical categories the young Jordi Fernandez-coached team led the NBA in. Well, with a bolded emphasis on not, the ballers’ GPT regretted to inform us that the Brooklyn Nets do not lead the league in any major team statistical category. Ouch. And yet, Michael Porter Jr is hooping like his life depends on it. Thusly, we rolled up our sleeves and fairly flipped the query script, this time inquiring about potential boxscore stats the Nets might be worst in the league in.

Unfortunately for Barclays Center patrons, according to our chatbot the team does rank last in the NBA in both rebounds and points per game—not exactly two negligible impact metrics if you’re them. To add insult to injury, the AI agent assumed Knicks-esque features and doubled down on the analysis, by adding that the squad is “also near the bottom in field goal percentage (44.9%)”, although it clarified as consolation that “Indiana is slightly lower (44.1%)”. Similarly troublingly, NBA intelligence is quick to point out how “[t]he Nets also average 15.7 turnovers per game, one of the higher marks in the league but not last overall” (emphasis in original…). Pheeeew.

To round things off for the rebuilding team East of the East River in New York, we threw them a tactical lifeline by sculpting a more moderate and forcefully balanced query as a last-ditched effort. Pressing the NBA chatbot for the team’s strengths and weaknesses so far resulted in a more uplifting outlook as Brooklyn enters the All-Star break and starts to focus on the final part of the season. According to the NBA itself, the Nets are good to continue to sharpen their shotmaking from key high-scorers (the aforementioned MPJ, as well as a healthy-again Cam Thomas). They should also continue to rely on the ascension of younger bucks such as Day’Ron Sharpe and Russian rookie Egor Dämin. The former, jointly with longtime Net Nic Claxton, also helps lead the team’s rebounding improvements, “a marked step forward from last season’s struggles inside” per the app.

Simultaneously, the answer did not hold back and strongly reiterated the team’s inconsistent defense, high turnover rate, as well as early-season injury setbacks as grave issues still plaguing them. In addition to needing to whip up more offensive creation beyond Thomas (on top of MPJ, might we offer), the chatbot concluded by addressing the Nets’ lack of experience: “With five first-round rookies and several new veterans, [their] biggest limitation remains time—they’re still learning how to play together at both ends”. Incidentally, the sentence might well double as mad libs description for the state the NBA chatbot finds itself in. Much like the Brooklyn Nets, it’s keeping its development on the DL.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time.

AV

NBA CUPCAKE | 2025-12-15

There’s a new Ryan Adams double album out in the world (a pastiche grower, in case you needed to know), the Mass Appeal ‘Legend Has It…‘ series has come to a climaxing and culminating end, and Gabriel Jacoby is going to be a star. Yet we do need to come through and interrupt the regularly scheduled musical programming—AOTY and the long-in-the-works Mass Appeal Tier List are handily stuffing this jolly December—to chime in with the obligatory unfounded 2025 Emirates NBA Cup winner prediction, now that the championship game is finally set and will be won by our New York Knicks.

Hey, it’s no Larry O’Brien trophy, but after more than a half-century drought, the five Gotham boroughs will take any resemblance to ballin silverware. On any other day ending in Y, given how this first quarter of NBA regular season has fared—with reigning champs Oklahoma City Thunder entering last Saturday’s West semifinals with an otherworldly .960 winning record, hot on the heels of a 16-game winning streak—capitulating such an opponent would have likely translated into more hooping street creds for Brunson and co. than the actual Emirates NBA Cup and the lofty monetary cachet it carries. Too bad that honor has now gone to the marvelous and defiant San Antonio Spurs instead.

Zoomin out for a moment, this year’s Cup edition did feel like it finally started to establish itself as a worthy late fall slump pursuit for the thirty league franchises. Didn’t it? If anything, the NBA just announced that TV viewership of group-play games was up 90 percent from last year. 90% YoY! Now in its third edition, following a sage and well-informed name change from the management consulting-y In-Season Tournament label, if nothing else the dedicated Friday night Cup games throughout November lent buzzing and momentous urgency to an otherwise somewhat auto-pilot month in the league. Incidentally, the revamped scheduling, coupled with a few successful branding pivots, led to a fascinating single-elimination game bracket in the knockout rounds, including flipped seedings compared to regular season standings as well as somewhat unlikely ticket-punchers (Suns and Raptors?!).

Our fault—didn’t we say we were going to zoom out? For the uninitiated, or those oblivious amongst you, only here to mouth-water over next week’s Albums of the Year drop, here comes a handy recap of how the NBA Cup actually worked out this year in the first place—courtesy of the always astute Bounce newsletter by The Athletic’s Zach Harper:

We have three groups of five teams in each conference. You play against every team in your group once. 

  • The best record wins the group.
  • If you tie, head-to-head will determine the winner. 
  • Three group winners in each conference advance to the single-elimination bracket, along with one wild card team in each conference. 
  • Wild card is based on record, then point differential, then total points scored, then 2024-25 regular-season record. 
  • If all of those tiebreakers don’t solve it, the NBA does a random draw. 

Owing to the above, all of the group-play games shenanigans would then determine the knockout bracket, with quarterfinals played with the typical home/away format based on group seeding, before moving both conference semifinals and the prize fight on neutral Las Vegas ground… Ahh how do we love the poetic irony of sending these teams, their delegations, and especially the eyes of the hooping world watching to a site that is the synonymous dictionary entry of gambling and betting—all amidst the gargantuan FBI-doctored multiple illegal investigations plaguing the league. The place is literally nicknamed Sin City, for Christ’s sake. Let’s just assume that everyone in the NBA—from Commish Silver to any franchise’s front office—would have been completely fine with setting this all up in Omaha, Nebraska this year. Just for this one subaltern season.

At any rate, as good ole De La Soul like to throw it down, it turns out that three really is a magic number (although perhaps not a Magic number, much to Desmond Bane’s chagrin). This year, both conferences’ NBA Cup third seeds entering the single-elimination round (NYK and SAS) have managed to push through all the way up to the 2025 Championship game—slated for tomorrow, Tuesday 16th December. This is a first, for the lowest seed to ever make it all the way to a Cup final before was the Indiana Pacers’ second seed during the inaugural, wait for it, In-Season Tournament (a game they eventually lost 123-109 to LeBron James’ Lakers). It’s too early to tell whether this stands to signify any meaningful shift in regular season power dynamics, but it sure does speak to the Cup’s erratic left field monkey wrench influence on this season’s juncture; whether it spoils your pre-Christmas anticipation all depends on what side of the NBA fence you sit on. Regardless, it’s tight and refreshing that no current Cup or regular season top seed is sticking around in Vegas for the prize fight this year.

All of a sudden matching most odds and predictions, our New York Knickerbockers will win this thing tomorrow. Believe us, we’d have stuck to this prediction even if the opponent were the OKC. Yeah we know, no sane person would likely pick against OKC until like 2032 at this point, but hey you all saw what Win-banyama and peers did to them this past weekend. Also, we kind of just feel like such a statement snatch is in the air for New York. They just got perennially cool Zohran Mamdani; they’ll want to keep striking while the iron is hot. Not to mention, this is virtually the same ace core team that reached the Eastern Conference Finals a mere six months ago, only with a deeper and more versatile bench as well as a brilliant gaffer in Mike Brown. We get what you’re saying—they’re up against a young, wild, and free squad with arguably all of the wind in their sail after having defeated the seemingly unbeatable reigning World champs and having welcomed the Alien back from injury. But we’re asking you to trust us here.

So there goes our Cupdate. You know it’s New York Forever, and the Knicks will take the Cupcake. Besides, Midtown West will need to be under Martial Law for the two hours following the final buzzer. They are coming.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time.

AV

WIN-BANYAMA | 2025-11-01

Happy November to those who celebrate. It just so happens that this weekend doubles as the days of the dead, or of all the Saints, depending on how and who you count. Two weeks ago, larger-than-life American singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and record producer D’Angelo moved on unexpectedly. Absolutely devastating. May the Lord rest his soul while he’s up there, we’ll take good care of his music down here.

October felt like it flew by like a 2025 Chicago Bull fast break, and there’s a lot to catch up on. Nasir Jones’s iconic Mass Appeal record label’s ‘Legend Has It…’ series cracked on fiercely, with highly-anticipated drops from Mobb Deep (Infinite) and the improbable exhuming of a patched-together compilation-mixtape by the prematurely disappeared Harlemite Big L (Harlem’s Finest: Return of the King)—hands down one of the most influential and resonant MCs ever to grace the genre. Not legend, but rumor has that this very in-house editorial team is working on the definitive ‘Legend Has It…’ Tier List once all seven projects have dropped later in the year. Another thing that happened this past month is the somewhat unexpected happenstance of a potential true spiritual successor to Frank Ocean‘s Blonde: Daniel Ceasar’s Son of Spergy—out a week ago on 24th October—has all the chops, vibes, and moods that faithfully recall the 2016 Neo soul masterpiece. Shoutout D’Angelo once again. Mostly though, October’s very own passing means that the official 2025-2026 NBA season is now fully underway.

With most teams having churned out five to six games at the time of this writing, the one meteoric and proverbial sore thumb standing out from the pack hitherto is San Antonio Spurs’ French center/power forward/small forward/shooting guard/playmaker Victor Wembanyama. Currently just one of three still unbeaten teams in the league—sharing the spoils with reigning champs Oklahoma City Thunder and the other fortnightly Cinderella surprise, the Chicago Bulls—the Texan franchise puts everyone else behind them in terms of average points differential per game (+14.4), as well as average opponent points per game (103.8). News at eleven, ladies and gentlemen—when you have the most uniquely singular and impactful hooper of the 21st Century in your rank and file, listed at 7-foot-4 (225 cm), and therefore naturally leading the NBA in rebounds and blocks per game (shooting at a 56.3% whilst at that), those street creds sound like just any day ending in Y.

What’s particularly cool about the Spurs going 5-0 to begin the 2025-2026 season is that they have never done it before in franchise history. Not even the Tim Duncan-Tony Parker-Manu Ginobili-Kawhi Leonard San Antonio Spurs started their season 5-0. The club has won five NBA Championships though. Oh, and this new-found glory all comes after they had previously established a negative record by capitulating 16 straight times in 2023, only to then besting it the following season with as many as 18 straight losses. Also, for context, San Antonio lost at least five straight games on 11 occasions just in the past three years, boasting a 78-168 win/loss record par for the course during that same span. Nonetheless, they did manage to snatch Victor Wembanyama a couple years back. The rest is history still being written to this day: the unanimous first overall pick in the 2023 NBA Draft was, shockingly, named the 2024 NBA Rookie of the Year at the end of his first full season, finishing second for the Defensive Player of the Year award just behind French compatriot Rudy Gobert. Rightfully so, Wemby also became the first rookie ever to be named to the NBA All-Defensive First Team that same season.

Dude’s low-key being played in positions 1 through 5 on the floor, and is currently averaging almost eight more points per game than his career average (30.2 in five games this season, vs 22.9 all time), all the while putting up 56.2/31.2/79.1 shooting splits. We know there are literally just a handful observations in our sample, but what’s even gnarlier is that the French unicorn-meets-Alien is also cruising at better game averages in minutes played, field goal percentages, rebounds, blocks, steals, and turnovers conceded compared to his lifetime numbers so far. How does one even improve on career rebounding and blocks averages of 11 and 4, respectively?! Watch this: during the first three inaugural games this past month, Wemby was averaging 33.3 points, 13.7 rebounds, and 6.0 blocks every 48 minutes… Did we mention he’s 21-years of age?

Here it goes. If Wemby can stay healthy throughout the following eight months—he didn’t qualify for any accolade last season due to him not reaching the 65-games played threshold on account of a deep vein thrombosis—we’re anticipating a big sweep of his at this year’s individual NBA awards. This assessment should bode well for the San Antonio franchise, too. Aside from the athletic momentum they seem to have found, Mitch Johnson’s squad has some type of edge that no other team can claim this year: the emotional charge of honoring the work of record-setting, transcendental longtime head coach Gregg Popovich, who stepped down from his post after 29 consecutive years at the helm of the franchise due to worsening health issues this past May. The team appears in excellent managerial hands with Johnson, who had the privilege and honor to share gaffer duties bench with Coach Pop since 2019.

The Spurs might have found an additional improbable ally in the NBA fixtures schedule this month of November to keep this kind of wind in their sail, too. Of their upcoming fourteen opponents slated over the coming thirty days, only four teams are presently above .500: the Los Angeles Lakers, their fellow unbeaten Bulls, the Golden State Warriors (in a double header this month), and the 2023 NBA Champs Denver Nuggets. Thusly, it might not be completely out of the question that we would regroup this time around next month, and still find Wembanyama and friends in high altitude standings. This formulation is not meant as any type of shade to the Stephon Castles, Devin Vassels, Harrison Barnes, or Keldon Johnsons of the Spurs world. It’s just that this early season really does look like it put the Wemby church at the center of the Texan village. Take these first five match ups San Antonio has played so far: absent game two against the New Orleans Pelicans in which Luke Cornet grabbed one more board than him from the bench, the tall French glass of water was the team leader in both points and rebounds in each single face off. The Silver and Black are +23 points per 100 possessions with him on the floor, and a measly +0.1 with him on the bench. He’s that supreme.

And to think that the San Antonio Spurs’ highest-paid player, De’Aaron Fox, is still sidelined due to a right hamstring strain. His return should be imminent, however. Thing is, the 27-year-old former Sacramento Kings star might need to fight a little harder for ball handling duties once he comes back—Wemby is so omnipresent and position-less, and more often than not takes care of the rock from cradle-to-grave, with a few blocks and rebounds peppered on top for good measure. For Christ’s sake is this kid good. Not that anybody didn’t notice before, but this new season has made his impact and gravity absolutely undeniable. If you’re sick of this kind of generational talent already, then newsflash: the next couple decades are going to be tough for you. He’s poised to be one of the most influential players in NBA history.

Honestly, good luck to the Alamo City this year. God bless the San Antonio Spurs. But it’s New York Forever over here. Although we are still very much concerned about Josh Hart’s right index finger. Get that thing fixed before we’re too deep into the season, Tasmanian devil.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time.

AV

GENTLEMAN GIANNIS | 2025-05-01

More than half of the 2025 NBA Playoff First Round match-ups have already been sorted out. In less than ten days of scheduled playtime since the official kick-off of the ‘postseason that counts’, five teams across the Eastern and Western Conferences have already taken care of business, securing a landlocked spot in the Second Round. Two series sweeps, seeing each Conference’s top seed flat-out ridicule their fellow lowest-seeded Play-In Tournament hopefuls (Oklahoma City Thunder and Cleveland Cavaliers versus the Memphis Grizzlies and the Miami Heat, respectively), one giant upset (sixth-seeded Minnesota Timberwolves dethroning the LA Lakers), as well as a couple predictable verdicts, albeit not without late clutch play drama (here’s looking at you, Indiana Pacers—more on this in a jiffy). Amidst it all, there isn’t even a need to front here: our predictions have so far left a lot to be desired—see bracket below; the 19th April Bluesky timestamp is proof…

Were the Nuggets, Rockets, and Knicks to go on to win their respective series tie in the next couple days, that would leave our bracket accuracy attainment rate at a measly 3/8 correct guesses. That’s a laughable 37%. Achieved by guessing that OKC, the Cavaliers, and the Celtics would win their charitable trips to the Semis, no less—wow. Geniuses. What’s troublesome too here are two deadpan implications from these first ten days of Playoff action: our presumptive NBA Champions Lakers are already on their way to Cancún as of 1st May, and this year’s wishful Cinderella story—the unlikely thrusting of the living-breathing scaffolding Milwaukee Bucks all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals—well, ain’t happening either. Nostradamus would be proud of us.

When your biggest postseason’s brag is that you predicted that the defending NBA Champions Boston Celtics reach the Eastern Conference Finals again, you should definitely stay away from sports betting. Frankly, even a 100% correct bracket guesses should, but that’s a story for a different day. And yet, we really believe(d) in our earnest predictions when we first filled them out. Did we go out on a few limbs here and there, just for fun? Of course. Comment this post if you also had the Lakers making it all the way to raising the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy this year. Or if you too were hopelessly optimistic that Damian Lillard’s miraculously unprecedented return from his blood clot issue would be the decisive X factor that could bring a somewhat disgraced franchise to unthinkable heights this season, only to capitulate in a seven-game series loss against the reigning champs.

Yes, they were both stretches, but not entirely unfounded. The Lakers won seven out of their ten final Regular Season games—including a marquee triumph against the top Western seed Thunders—and finished third with their best record in six years (50-32, .610 win percentage). Oh, and they low-key pulled off the biggest blockbuster NBA trade of this century, acquiring Slovenian superstar guard Luka Dončić in a multi-pawned deal that sent veteran center Anthony Davis to the Dallas Mavericks. Also, Austin Reaves was on a sensational ascent. And this might be LeBron James’s last season, so why wouldn’t he do everything in his power to tip it off with at least one last Finals appearance? It all kind of made sense.

Not dissimilarly, the Milwaukee Bucks wrapped up the Regular Season with eight straight wins, that arithmetically pulled them out of the Play-In relegation slump, and officially set them apart enough to lock in the official fifth seed vis-a-vis the unlikely All-American success story of the Detroit Pistons. Considering how brutally disappointingly the 2024/2025 season started for the Giannis Antetokounmpo-led franchise, there was a great deal of new wind in their sail that would have allowed us to fantasize about them at the very least making it past the fastidious Indiana Pacers in the First Round (yup, even we’d have to acknowledge that beating the Cavaliers four times out of seven was perhaps too prohibitive and likely not on the cards for this year…). So, about that Bucks-Pacers series…

On Tuesday 29th April, Tyrese Haliburton and co. officially took care of business by eliminating Milwaukee 4-1 in a frankly pretty one-sided best-of-seven series. Pacers in five. The game ended 119-118 in dramatic fashion in overtime, and while the Bucks would probably have deserved to win the game and force a game six back in Indianapolis after blowing multiple double-digit leads, it’s what transpired in the moments immediately following the final buzzer that took on a whole other life of its own. To recap the succession of events for the uninitiated—right after Indiana clinched the series, Tyrese Haliburton’s father John Haliburton, sitting courtside, entered the floor during the celebrations. He then walked up to a petrified Giannis Antetokounmpo and proceeded to wave a towel featuring his son’s face, before directing provocative remarks at the Greek Freak. Giannis then confronted John, leading to a brief but tense exchange before teammates intervened to dissuade the situation.

There is so much that can, has been, and will be written about the altercation. For starters, the public embarrassment expressed by Tyrese over his father’s actions, indicating in a postgame press conference that he had had a conversation with his father to address the situation while also planning to speak with Antetokounmpo at a separate time. Tyrese’s awkwardness was followed by John’s too, who took little time to issue a forced public apology on social media, acknowledging how his behavior did not reflect well on himself or his son. As if it were not enough, it’s news as of 1st May that after conversations with John Haliburton, the Indiana Pacers front office saw fit to ban Tyrese’s father from attending the team’s home and road games for the foreseeable future. And yet the teachable, noble moment here comes from the former NBA MVP and Champion himself. Let us unpack the complete answer Giannis gave during his own presser after the game, when asked to speak on the incident:

All I’ll say is that I believe in being humble in victory. That’s the way I am.

Now, there are a lot of people out there that can say, ‘No. When you win, you gotta talk shit. It’s a green light for you to be disrespectful towards somebody else. I disagree. I have won a championship. They haven’t. That doesn’t say anything. I’m not trying to minimize their effort, but I remember when I won, my mom, she’s never missed a game from February 11th or 13th when she came to Milwaukee against the Knicks, she’s never missed a game. When we won a championship, I remember my mom was scared to cross. She was like, ‘Am I allowed to come and hug my son?’

Except now my brother does media this year. He wants to come back and play, but like, except Thanasis, you’ve never seen my family sit in a courtside seat. This is not something that we do. We don’t. I try to keep my family away from the game.

But losing the game emotions run high. Having a fan, which at the moment I thought it was a fan, but then I realized it was Tyrese’s son, which I love Tyrese – I think he’s a great competitor – he was his dad, sorry.

Coming in the floor and, um, showing me his son a towel with his face. ‘This is what we do. This is what we f**king do. This is the f**k we do.’ I feel like that’s very, very disrespectful.

You know, my dad, my dad if you guys go and ask and learn my dad’s not with us no more. My dad used to come in the family room and was the most respectful person ever. You know when you come from nothing and you’ve worked your whole life to sell stuff in the street and your whole life you’ll be scared of the police of deporting you and sending you back to your country. You have to protect your kids with all means. You create this mentality of being humble your whole life.

To not kind of disrespect anybody, not make the tension high, the emotions high, so anybody can you know snitch on you, say something bad about you. So when he came here I remembered I was like, ‘Dad, why are you so humble? Why are you going to the family room? You don’t even say a word. You sit in the back. Why, why, why are you like that?’ ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry about it. Don’t worry.’ That’s how I grew up. That’s what I had around.

So when I see other dads, which don’t disrespect, maybe if my son play basketball, I might be in the court. I might be the one on the court and like 20 years later you can play this interview and say ‘Giannis, you’re contradicting yourself.’ But we’ll see in 20 years, but I’m talking about right now how I feel. You know having somebody’s that which I’m happy for him and I’m happy for his son and I’m happy that he’s happy for his son. That’s how you’re supposed to feel.

But coming to me and disrespecting me and cursing at me, I think it’s totally unacceptable – totally unacceptable. OK, and … I’m not the guy that points fingers because in my neighborhood snitches get stitches. So I don’t want to say something you know for him to say to get fined or anything, but it’s not respectful. I talk with him at the end and we huh, I think we’re in a good place.

For the record, John Haliburton’s social media handle is @PapaHaliburton. Please. Like, who does that? How much more obvious can the familiar vestibule guised as genuine grassroots support get? While it’s evident that the Haliburton-Antetokounmpo incident has sparked welcome discussions about appropriate conduct for family members and fans during professional sporting events—highlighting the importance of sportsmanship and respect—we claim no better metaphor could be realized to capture the modern day’s delusion of spoiled nepotist entitlement. The kind that involves parents as chief architects of it. And honestly, the Haliburtons embody so much of that. Incidentally, 25-year old guard Tyrese, a two-time NBA All-Star, just won the Most Overrated Player in the NBA award this year in a recent anonymous player poll by The Athletic, receiving 15% of the votes (ironically, good guy in this story Giannis Antetokounmpo finished tenth on the same list).

This story basically writes itself—Haliburton is a non-factor Olympic gold medalist, too. Last summer, he was drafted as part of Team USA’s men’s basketball roster at the 2024 Paris Olympics, where the selection managed to secure the highly coveted gold medal (all the while this season’s NBA Clutch Player of the Year, the New York Knicks’s Jalen Brunson, stayed home to record podcasts…). However, unsurprisingly, Haliburton’s on-court contributions were limited. He merely appeared in three of the six games, totaling 26 minutes—the fewest among all players on the roster. He did not step foot on the hardwood floor in either of the games past the group phase (the semifinal against Serbia and the gold medal game against France). Granted, he was a good sport about it all, tipping off the experience with legitimately funny humor on social media (posting ‘When you ain’t do nun on the group project and still get an A‘). But this also kind of makes sense. Doesn’t it?

Go back to Giannis’ integrity lesson for a second. Re-read it in full. This doesn’t all happen in a vacuum. John Haliburton doesn’t walk up to Giannis with hostility at the buzzer, before even hugging his own game-winning shooter son, had he and Tyrese not perfected the gold digging upwards mobility of ‘take your dad to work’ models. Heritage, respect, and sacrifice typically don’t fail people in moments of need. They don’t get washed away by ’emotions’. They either pre-exist, or they don’t. The Nigerian-Greek power forward is obviously one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Arguably the greatest and most incisive player of the last decade. Since his 2013 debut, the guy has been sporting a career average 24 points per game (accompanied by a 55% field goal percentage), with a peak 31.1 points-per-game registered during his 2022-2023 season. As he reminded the audience during the press conference, he is the one with NBA Championship and three MVP titles, not them. Still, Giannis’s most honorable achievement to date might just have come off the court. Yes, Giannis Antetokounmpo is a gentleman, and a damn good basketball player whilst at it.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time. Oh and yeah, we do root for the Knicks over here at EMS, but these Pistons man…

AV

DETROIT PISTONS: AMERICA’S TEAM | 2025-03-28

As of Friday 28th March, with less than ten games left in the 2024/2025 NBA Regular Season, the Detroit Pistons have officially established themselves as franchise basketball’s America’s Team. Michigan’s Motor City team currently sits as the fifth seed in the Eastern Conference, sporting a .562 winning percentage and an overall net record of 41 wins and 32 losses hitherto. Not only would this ranking translate in the Pistons clinching direct playoff access for the first time since 2019, but the existing match-up picture would see them face the certainly not-unbeatable Indiana Pacers in the first round. All of a sudden, the Eastern Conference Semifinals aren’t a pipedream anymore. Granted, there are another nine games left in the regular season—incidentally, tonight Detroit is slated to face the projected Eastern Conference champions and undisputed season revelation Cleveland Cavaliers, at home—and lots can still change between now and mid-April. Yet, their performance so far this season reflects a historic and unprecedented improvement, transforming the franchise from the league’s lowest-ranked team to unwavering playoff contenders.

As a refresher, it’s worth reminding that last year, during the 2023/2024 NBA Regular Season, the Pistons finished dead last with a measly league-worst record of 14 wins and 68 losses (.171 winning %). Two seasons ago, same thing—they closed off with 17 wins and 65 losses (.207 winning %). This year alone, the club has already tripled the amount of wins from last year, with another nine attempts to go. Earlier in February, they even recorded their longest winning streak (eight games) since the golden franchise era of the 2006/2007 season—and as of their 73rd game of the season, they improved their average points per game by 6 (up from 109 last year), their field goal percentage by more than 1% point (47.8% compared to 46.3%), and elevated their three-point field goal percentage by nearly 2% points (36.3% over last season’s 34.8%). And although their free-throw percentage is dipping slightly compared to twelve months ago (a current 77.6% vis-a-vis 78.5% in 2023/2024), they are tracking better stats than in previous years across the whole front and backcourt: steals per game, blocks per game, total rebounds per game, and assists per game.

What’s not to love obsessively about this? How can the country not root for them? For those needing more convincing; so far this season their effective field goal percentage (adjusted field goal % to better account for three-pointers) jumped from 52 to 55%, while their offensive rating—ergo, points scored per 100 possessions—improved by more than 5. Defensively, they are par for their reputational Bad Boys course again, having ameliorated their defensive rating (points conceded per 100 possessions) bringing it down from 118 last year to this season’s 111, not unlike their opponents effective field goal percentage, which has seen a near 2 percentage points drop from last year (decreases mean good, in the latter two cases). All from a team that has consistently finished in the bottom three of the Eastern Conference in the last five years, with a meager all time high of 23 wins in a single season (2021/2022). A proverbial all-American redemption tale if we’ve ever seen one.

From blowout red carpets, to serious Eastern Conference Semifinal contenders. From near laughing stock of the league, to top ten NBA team in rebounds per game and field goal percentage. All in less than twelve months. But what’s to thank for this remarkable transformation? Well, quite a bit. First and foremost, re-signing core talent during the offseason. Securing a contract extension with franchise cornerstone and legitimate Most Improved Player-candidate Cade Cunningham in July last year ensured dexterity, leadership, and continuity on the court. Secondly, placing a few strategic free agency acquisitions on the chessboard: scoring veteran forward Tobias Harris as well as signing sharpshooter and living-breathing mascot Malik Beasley provided offensive versatility and experience. Moreover, absorbing Tim Hardaway Jr via a trade with the Dallas Mavericks ensured consistent perimeter shooting and yet more veteran presence, further addressing the team’s need for reliable scoring options. Similarly, the recent addition of reigning FIBA World Champion and tournament MVP, Germany‘s Dennis Schröder, increased depth at the point guard position, dishing solid experience and facilitating mad ball handling movement.

The Michiganian franchise also showcased and proved their sharp ability to grow in-house talent and draft promising prospects. Sourcing small/power forward Ron Holland II as the 5th overall pick in the 2024 NBA Draft infused young incisiveness with significant potential into the roster, while the definitive explosion of young center Jalen Duren as well as evil twin Ausar Thompson as Swiss-army-knife small forward this year are other significant contributions to the team’s unlikely success this season. All this notwithstanding the fact that one of their most impactful players between October and December, former Purdue shooting guard Jaden Ivey, has been sidelined since 1st January after sustaining a season-ending injury in a nasty collision with Orlando Magic guard Cole Anthony. Last, but definitely not least, appointing former Cleveland Cavaliers head coach JB Bickerstaff to lead the team in the offseason—someone known for his effective communication and leadership skills—introduced a new strategic vision and leadership style, enriching the team’s improved impact. And although it’s harder to gauge, Trajan Langdon’s hire as the new President of Basketball Operations before last summer surely enhanced a front-office overhaul able to respond to a multi-year Playoff drought.

As Detroit Bad Boys reports, the Pistons will officially finish the season above .500 for the first time in a decade with just one additional win in their final nine games. While that win might not come tonight, against projected title contenders Cleveland Cavaliers, were they to eke out four more before the postseason, Detroit will go as far as securing their best regular season record since 2007-08. Not to mention the fact that so many of their wins happened in clutch time (final 5 minutes of the fourth quarter with a score differential of 5 or less). We haven’t checked this, but the Pistons have got to be a top five NBA team in terms of clutch games this year. What’s even more impressive, as the same article puts it, America’s team miraculous turnaround “is already among the biggest in NBA history. If Detroit wins just three more games [before the regular season ends], they will have the seventh-biggest jump in wins from one season to the next“. Before adding important context: “if you look at the top six turnarounds in NBA history, they are all built on major talent infusion and return from injury“.

We would be remiss not to finish off singing the Pistons praises by focusing on their best player, former NBA first overall pick in the 2021 NBA Draft Cade Cunningham. The 23-year old point guard was deservedly named an NBA All-Star for the first time this past February, and makes for a more than plausible All-NBA Second Team hopeful, when this season is in the books. The Texas native is basically a walking averaging double-double, with a current trading of 25.7 points, 9.2 assists and 6.1 rebounds a game. These numbers are up from 17, 19, and 22 points per game in his first three seasons, respectively. He’s already played more individual games than in any single season before (66), averaging 35 minutes a match up on a roster not exactly devoid of options and bench depth. He’s even managed to turn around his +/- ratio for the first time in his professional career, recording a net 2.7 points when he’s on the floor after three years in the minus. Plus the guy’s hella likable, plays with unique calm, collection, and poise, and makes it look like he’s having a lot of fun while at it. That, and so much more, is why the Detroit Pistons are America’s Team.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time.

AV

HOLIDAY KNICKSTAPE | 2024-12-21

As we’re typing this on 21st December, planet earth is celebrating its second ever World Basketball Day. A momentous and historic observance not only reflecting the global significance and impact of what is for all intents and purposes the fastest growing mainstream game, but also its power to unite people worldwide. Crucially, basketball is the first ever team sport to get such a UN recognition. At the time of writing, the 2024-25 NBA season has officially completed around a third (27-28) of its regular season games (82), which provides as good a round-up checkpoint as any to start drawing some insights about what to expect next year.

The New York Knicks, reinvigorated and with plenty of wind in their sail after the blockbuster summer trades of Karl-Anthony Towns aka KAT and Mikal Bridges—as well as a new-found blue collar captain hero in Jalen Brunson riding on the coattails of his explosion last year—are currently faring with an encouraging 17-10 record (.630%). This places the group in solitary third seed in the Eastern Conference, behind this year’s unlikely revelation Cleveland Cavaliers (24-4!), and the predicable arch enemy Boston Celtics at number two (21-6). After a perhaps slower and rockier start than most would’ve predicted through mid-November—rendering a below .500 record going into their 15th-17th November double header against town derby rivals Brooklyn Nets—coupled with struggling performances from the aforementioned Bridges as well as Josh Hart, the Knicks managed to course correcte over the subsequent thirty days.

Since those Nets games, Brunson and co. managed to win twelve out of the following sixteen match ups, including statement victories against the Phoenix Suns (122-138), the recent NBA champs Denver Nuggets (118-145), as well as two times versus fellow Eastern seed rivals Orlando Magic (106-121 and 91-100). Such performance tightening and renewed focus allowed them to climb into reputable top 10 league averages as a team in terms of points made per game (7th), points conceded per game (8th), as well as assists per game (9th). During the same time span, the Manhattan franchise also succeeded in winning its NBA Cup Group A in the East, with a perfect record (4-0), only to capitulate to the Atlanta Hawks in a disappointing loss at home in the quarterfinals (100-108).

Now, it’s prohibitive to assess whether these first two months of Knicks basketball are more encouraging or cautionary to fans. While it is true that at the end of December last year, coach Tom Thibodeau’s line-up had a more meager 17-15 winning record, it was also plagued by more intermittent injuries and, crucially, had not yet traded for franchise-changing small forward OG Anunoby. At the end of the regular season, thanks in no small part to their unprecedented January run (14-2), the The New York Knickerbockers saw fit to level up to a comparably robust .610%—not to mention their commendable playoff exploit reaching the Eastern Conference Semifinals for the second year in a row (ended by a surprising effort by the Indiana Pacers).

At this point in the year, pound for pound we should be somewhat content and satisfied with the team’s current trading—yet let’s be honest how many of us would have signed for a 43% average field goal percentage after a two-day rest before the season kicked off, knowing four out of our five starters (Brunson, KAT, Anunoby, and Bridges) carry legitimate All-Star ambitions this year? Any year? Lest we forget, in less than thirty games hitherto, the Knicks have managed to lose to the Hawks twice, the Houston Rockets, Chicago Bulls, as well as last year’s laughing stock Detroit Pistons. Not exactly playoff contenders if you asked your pedestrian NBA fan. Nonetheless, knowledgeable hoops pundits seem to keep emphasizing process over results with this team, yet somehow not without incongruously acting shy of the realization that anything less than the Easter Conference Finals would be considered a flat out disappointment, considering the squad assembled this year.

To run the appraisal a smidge deeper than surface-level analytics, let’s talk about Thibs’s six/seven-man rotation for a hot second. How much longer exactly does he, can we, think we can get away with it? Mikal Bridges—who mind you hasn’t missed a professional basketball game since high school!—is averaging 38.3 minutes on the floor per game, in cold DECEMBER. I guess if anyone was to bet on which season would break his streak, make it the one in which Tom Thibodeau coaches him… Unrestrained floor demon Josh Hart follows suit with 36.8 minutes played each game, followed by OG Anunoby (36.6), KAT (34.5), and finally Brunson (34.3). By comparison, Sixth Man of the Year-hopeful Miles McBride averages a virtual ten minutes of fewer playtime than Brunson (25.3), whereas the only other notable second unit subs Cam Payne and Jericho Sims can only dream about even reaching twenty minutes a game (Precious Achiuwa does have better odds, although he just came back from hamstring injury and has only played in six games so far).

*Knocks on wood*. Granted, key chessboard pawn Mitchell Robinson is still yet to announce any comeback horizon from his fastidious ankle woes, and in 20/20 hindsight we really did not need that Landry Shamet’s shoulder injury against the Hornets in pre-season. Yet Thibs’s propensity to play with fire is beyond us. Are Hukporti, Kolek, and Dadiet that not worth giving Bridges and Hart an additional 2-3 minutes of benchtime each game? This is probably a good time to switch gears and focus on the joyous and celebratory topic currently on each Knicks fan’s mind: Bodega KAT. The Big Bodega. That is, in less than two months, the former Minnesota Timberwolves power forward has unequivocally proven to be the real NBA unicorn, putting in a significantly higher incisiveness than even captain Jalen Brunson at this point in the season.

This brand of Karl-Anthony Towns #32 is not only a guaranteed All-Star and All-NBA pick, but a genuinely realistic Top 5 NBA player contender, eyeing that coveted MVP title at the end of the season. He is currently leading the big men league in total rebounds per game—14.2, a whooping 1.2 more than the second ranked tie Sabonis-Jokić—and ranks an impressive third overall in efficiency rating (33.3), behind, guess what, two former MVPs; the aforementioned Jokić (42) and Giannis Antetokounmpo (36.6). The latter stat is presently faring a remarkable ten metric points higher than his 2023-24 season-end index of 23.4, placing him 28th in the league. Similarly, scoring-wise, so far this season Bodega KAT is cutting it just outside of the NBA’s top 10, sporting 25 points a game on average, compared to his 21.8 points at the end of last season. In this regard, Robinson’s absence is a blessing in disguise for the 29-year-old Dominican-American, as it enables him to act as false center in Robinson’s stead—except in a more positionless way, allowing him to alternate spaced out three-pointers with ruthless pick and roll screens, courtesy of Jalen Brunson.

As we all look to cut loose over the holidays here in the Western hemisphere, we’re inevitably being ushered into calling some sort of prediction over how far these New York Knicks can really go this year, with such a mob of talented hoopers. People are pointing at this team and this season as the kind of Godsend alignment of stars—pun intended—that could set a whole Big Apple on fire, heightening the hype and embrace to a level the city only last experienced in the 90s. In actuality, that might just mean making it to a best-of-seven game series in the Easter Conference Finals. Current NBA champs Boston Celtics still remain a notch above the rest league-wise, while these Cavs do not show any wavering sign whatsoever approaching their thirtieth game this season. On the other side, the Oklahoma City Thunder of former Knick center Isaiah Hartenstein seem to have constructed the kind of defense that could checkmate KAT and Brunson, whereby Ja’s Grizzlies are hella rancid scary too. Process over results, folks. Process over results. To the chagrin of all feline delicatessen mascots in New York City.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time. And happy holidays this time around.

AV

THE NEW YORK KNICKS ROSTER SET TO SONGS ON PEARL JAM’S DARK MATTER | 2024-04-25

What if each member on the core 2023-2024 New York Knicks line-up entering the NBA Playoffs was a song on Pearl Jam’s latest full length Dark Matter? With box score stats and roster standings updated as of the second game of the First Round best-of seven series against the Philadelphia 76ers in the Eastern Conference (NYK up 2-0), that is exactly what is going to happen here. To get our ducks in a row, the Seattle grunge rock legends’s 12th studio effort was released earlier this month on Republic Records, and comes four years after their 2020 mixed bag Gigaton. All cuts on the project were produced by new-gen West Coast rock historian and Eddie Vedder-worshipper Andrew Watt, clocking in at just shy of 50 minutes on new fierce, ironclad, and robust material.

Before we delve into the sequencing—a quick monition on the draft method used to select the New York Knicks players. We’d be remiss if we didn’t start by acknowledging the perhaps painful omission of 25-year-old center Jericho Sims (#45) from the tracklist. In our operationalization’s defense, the album has only got eleven tracks, so a cursory season playtime extraction coupled with a lower musical match make him the proverbial twelfth man cut from this rock band team. For similar, yet less controversial reasons, further Knicks bench players on the official roster list this season, such as Jacob Toppin (#00), Duane Washington Jr (#1), Charlie Brown Jr (#4), Daquan Jeffries (#8), Shake Milton (#13), Mamadi Diakite (#21), are also excluded from being considered for this shortlist.

1. Scared of Fear — Bojan Bogdanović (#44) | Credit his naturally alarmed glance, or conversely, the gregarious approach he must’ve adopted to break through in the world’s top basketball league hailing from God-forsaken Croatia, but the 35-year-old small forward veteran feels like the best place to start with the PJ record. Slowly coming into this own after the February trade from the Detroit Pistons, he has so far undoubtedly been the more impactful of the two partners at the Law Firm of Burks & Bogdanović. The track’s full-throttle percussions and piercing guitars act as a fitting metaphor for his full-court hustle and shooting prowess, while the sonic plateau culled in the song’s bridge stands to represent the ebbs and flows experienced with the Knicks jersey hitherto. Still, the robust runtime at four minutes and a half nonetheless denotes Bogey’s stoic and earnest style of play on the floor.

2. React, Respond — Miles ‘Deuce’ McBride (#2) | “Don’t let the sky hook beat you to submission / Maybe it’s the price of price of our admission / Ain’t no fucking roses to our condition / Turn this anger into nuclear fission, yeah, baby, baby“. What better set of lyrics to describe the improbable ascent of what is now officially the floor general of the Knicks’s second unit? After a somewhat underwhelming first half of the season—bottlenecked by a wealth of players trumping him in coach Tom Thibodeau’s formation rankings—something unlocked in earnest around the NBA All-Star break for the former West Virginia Mountaineers youngster. McBride is arguably a top three ball handler on the team, and as a nod to the opening song stanza, has never let his smaller size be a limiting factor in his NBA hooping shenanigans. He was ready to seize his chance, and that has led him to become the second pure playmaking guard choice in the line-up—right after none other than breakout team star Jalen Brunson.

3. Wreckage — OG Anunoby (#8) | Befitting his first name shortening acronym, this Englishman in New York plays with the grace, poise, and wisdom of a multi-decade seasoned statesman, belying his mid-twenties age registry. A star trade in the winter transfer market season across the whole league, the Knickerbockers hold a stupidly impactful 20-3 winning record when Anunoby is on the floor (Playoff games included). A wreckage was both the athletic juncture he joined the Manhattan team in—with key starting players Robinson and Randle reported out for the rest of the season at the time—and the clinical picture of his right elbow during that fearful February-March stint, where he himself had to be sidelined, met by most Knicks fan’s exorcisms. The levity, emotion, and lightness with which he plays mirror the track’s sunny and carefree spirit, while the wholesome flair on the lyrical front as well as a soaring and catchy refrain recalling his vastly underrated jams at the rim.

4. Dark Matter — Julius Randle (#30) | For all intents and purposes, the greatest and most popular player on the team. The titular album track is not only its lead single, but its defining and equalizing driving force too. Congruently to its musical twin, Randle is the only element on the list that truly transcends the current team’s zeitgeist, as a three-time NBA All-Star and a two-time All-NBA player—on top being the NBA’s Most Improved Player Award in 2021. Now, scientific method sticklers might be quick to point out how his being out since the end of January due to his right shoulder dislocation should make him ineligible for this tracklist. Yet let us be serious, no Knicks roster list to speak of can afford to neglect its marquee player—especially during a statement season averaging 24 points a game, a whooping five more than his career average of 19. It’s plain and simple: the cut slaps, goes hard, and defines Dark Matter, so does (a healthy) Julius Randle.

5. Won’t Tell — Mitchell Robinson (#23) | The comic relief. Track number five on the album is the most uplifting, its most solar and joyous. Then again, do not get it twisted, Pearl Jam is stuffed with negative space and melancholy, even in its brighter moments. The song’s chorus motif chanting “You can find me here / Waiting for your message to come” seems like an indirect homage to Mitchell’s sweet spot stomping ground under the rim, while his unofficial role as the team’s prankster and meme master lends even more credence to him matching the record’s lightheartedness. We can’t skip the part where we acknowledge the cosmic balance found in this being Dark Matter‘s fifth track, and the traditional center role on a basketball court being labeled as ‘the five’. If you don’t read any more track-to-player pairings past this point, let this be proof this parallelism is worth humoring.

6. Upper Hand — Isaiah Hartenstein (#55) |The team’s tireless workhorse, he who played all 82 regular season games last year—reflected by an ambitious, expansive, and triumphant 6-minute opus. Heralded as way more than a luxury reserve for starting center Mitchell Robinson, Hartenstein kept the Knicks afloat during that critical February-March period, where they didn’t seem able to catch a break in their own town—alas, only to capitulate himself for a brief period under his own Achilles trials and tribulations. Much like the tune, Isaiah can be a smidge inconsistent at times, yet he never falters in blood, sweat, and tears, and most times he does manage to prevail and come out on top. As his signature defensive move, turn to this recent savage in-motion block of Tyrese Maxey’s surefire layup, denying the 76ers a certified win with only seconds left on the game clock during game 2 of the ongoing Playoff series.

7. Waiting for Stevie — Alec Burks (#18) | This one is rough. The second Knicks coming of 32-year-old shooting guard Alec Burks this winter was not supposed to turn out this way. After a somewhat average start in January and February—with sizable minutes as part of coach Thib’s end of 1st and end of 3rd quarter second unit rotation—the AWOL partner of the Law Firm of Burks & Bogdanović gradually faded into the team’s anonymous background, with a measly 30 minutes of combined playtime on the floor during the last ten Knicks games to date, and an even more dreadful 5 total points scored during the same timespan, for bad measure. Swap the “Stevie” for “Alec” on the similarly underwhelming, contrived, and rough around the edges album track’s title, and that tells you everything you need to know here. Mediocrity-fest.

8. Running — Josh Hart (#3) | A clear case for when a one-word song name fits a player like a glove. Josh Hart has low-key been the true blue-collar revelation of this New York Knicks season. The definition of an industrious all-around role player, this guy’s regularly playing 40+ minutes each game, and not batting an eye. Eddie Vedder’s opening verse on the cut, “Got me running, got me running, but the race, it never ends / Got me running, or else I’m done in / You got me coming as you’re going and the chase, it never ends / I’ll be running ’til the second coming” legit sounds like it was written about the versatile 29-year-old Maryland native. Hands down the best rebounding guard of the whole NBA, and its most ruthless birdwatchers’s murderer, Josh Hart epitomizes all the little actions and plays that don’t quite end up in the box score, but that make teams win games, and (hopefully) leagues. The track is a two-minute incendiary blister that cuts throats and claws listeners by their ears, not without splashing specks of melody and introspection. The h(e)art and soul of the project.

9. Something Special — Precious Achiuwa (#5) | The quintessential providential player. Nigerian-American Precious Achiuwa was there when no one else was. A ductile player and homegrown New Yorker—via Miami and Toronto—he is able to seamlessly play each of the five positions on the floor. In those few and far-in between games where Robinson, Randle, Anunoby, and Hartenstein were all down, he rose from the ashes and stood up for the city, carrying the whole quintet’s presence under the basket on his shoulders. Arguably the most underrated overachiever on this Knicks version, it was his outstanding locked-in performance during those cold winter months that made it possible for fans to quickly forgive and forget RJ Barrett and Immanuel Quickley for jumping ship during the trade window—not exactly the easiest kicks to fill. As better and stronger songs come back to relevance on the tracklist, Achiuwa finds himself retreating to warming up the bench a bit more—albeit never forgotten. Not the most skilled, talented, or dexterous player on the list, but boy is he something special.

10. Got to Give — Donte DiVincenzo (#0) | The Knicks sniper with a diesel engine. Big Ragu went from borderline disappointing summer trade wannabe-highlight to fixture shooting guard starter on the 2nd seed team of the Easter Conference in around six months. Whilst at that, he saw fit to set the all-time franchise record for three-pointers in a single regular season with 283 (joining Stephen Curry, James Harden, Klay Thompson, Paul George, Buddy Hield and Luka Doncic as the only players to make 280+ in a season). Coinciding with the tune’s crescendo build, DiVo successfully learned how to make himself indispensable, much like this back-end album highlight. Catchy, agreeable, and so damn trademark Knicks; together with the aforementioned Hart and Jalen Brunson he represents that Villanova Wildcats college basketball core that is daring the Mecca of Basketball to dream big this year. “I’ll be the last one standing / I’ll be the first to forgive, yeah“—if one is to trust Pearl Jam, the sniper’s aim is sharper than ever.

11. Setting Sun — Jalen Brunson (#11) | Last, but not least. Song number eleven for #11. Yes, Randle might be the New York Knicks poster child, but Brunson is their prodigal son. The indisputable leader and top scorer on this team, thanks to his formidable performances and sensational contributions to the Knicks once-in-a-generation season record, Jalen was named an All-Star Player this past February. Like his sonic counterpart, he is beautiful to watch, universally impactful, and the undeniably constituent part of the whole. The guy is averaging 29 points and 7 assists per game this season, for God’s sake. We couldn’t imagine Dark Matter without this wall-to-wall acoustic enchantment coda, and so can’t we the New York Knicks without his 27-year-old point guard. Without being a prisoner of the moment, Jalen Brunson is poetry in motion. Jalen Brunson was born to play basketball.

We’d like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and we hope to feel your interest again next time. And good luck to the Knicks in the Playoffs this time around.

AV